Our plan when we got married was to wait a year, and then try to have our first baby right after that. As it turned out, after the year of waiting was over, we spent the following 2 years living out Proverbs 19:21 - "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." We didn't know at the time that we were about to launch into a big-time patience-testing and faith-building exercise that would ultimately teach us to trust more in God than ever before.
After a while of trying to become pregnant with no success, it was suggested by one of our pastors that we should consider not only praying about our problems, but also fasting and taking communion together. Although we didn't start right away, eventually we agreed it was a good idea, and we made it a habit to fast dinner one night every week, and to spend time that evening praying and taking communion.
One of the things we had been praying about was concerning joining a small group (Bible study group). And out of the blue (but not by coincidence), we saw a Facebook post one day from a pastor friend of ours that they were moving their small group to a different night of the week, and they invited anybody who wanted to come to be a part of the group. Although we really enjoy the company of our friends, we were nervous about joining the group and had no idea who else was a part of this Bible study. Nevertheless, we put our anxiety about being part of a small group aside and decided to obey and check it out. As it turned out, we knew everyone else in the group too, and we were really glad we joined.
Of course, small groups are more than just Bible studies - they are also an environment for people to get together, get to know each other better, and to find out ways they can be praying for each other. One particular week, I felt moved to share with the group the struggles we were going through, but when we met that Saturday evening, I didn't sense a natural way to bring it up in the group. At the following meeting, we took turns sharing some of the things that were going on in our lives, and Holly and I both knew it was the right time to share what God had placed on my heart. Together, Holly and I described how we had been trying for well over a year (at that time) to become pregnant, that there were some health issues that negatively affected the odds of becoming pregnant, and that we were struggling to find clarity concerning whether or not we should continue to try or perhaps pursue adoption at that time.
The group prayed for us (and for others as well) that night, and as part of the prayer time, it was prophesied over us that a dream would occur to somehow speak to us. After that meeting, we learned of at least 6 different dreams by 5 different people (including both Holly and I). And here's the even more remarkable part of how God spoke to us: not only did every dream involve us having children, but EVERY dream specifically mentioned Holly being pregnant! We were and continue to be very thankful for God's confirmation and direction He revealed to us. This was God's promise to us that he would allow for Holly to be pregnant.
Things of God are not always logical to us - His ways are counter-cultural. Isaiah 55:8 says, “'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord." This became evidenced in my own life when, after hearing God's promise and learning to trust Him more, my confidence that Holly would become pregnant began to actually GROW, despite the long period of waiting and the series of disappointments we had endured. Our natural tendency is to lose hope and become more impatient over time. This is not to say that I was never disappointed when we had to keep waiting. It was disappointing. But I learned to trust Him more. Even on the night that Holly took that pregnancy test that ending up finally being positive, even as I was waiting for the result of the test to appear, I ended up on my knees on the floor, saying something to the effect of: "Lord, if this is the time for us to be pregnant, let it be so!! But either way, I trust You no matter what." This was not the first time I had prayed a prayer like that, but this time, joy followed just a few seconds later when the happy news became apparent!
At some point while we were waiting for our miracle, God gave me the bridge to a song (much of the rest of the song is still in progress). These words gave Holly and I peace and comfort at different times while we were waiting for God's promise to be fulfilled, and I pray that God would use these words to be an encouragement to you too whenever you find yourself waiting for God to deliver on a promise He has made to you:
"God be my joy and bring me peace.The purpose behind sharing this with you is more than just to share our excitement and joy with you for what God has done for us, although we certainly do want to do that! We can declare that we have seen first-hand the truth that "The Lord is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does" (Psalm 145:13). The time we spent waiting was not a waste of time - it was a God-ordained waiting period that He used to strengthen our faith and to build a foundation that, in turn, will benefit our children and encourage others who are waiting for God to move as well. What God has promised you may be children, or it may be one of a multitude of other things - a job, physical healing, waiting for someone to change emotionally or spiritually, or something else. But whatever it is that God has promised to you - you can be certain that He will see it through to its completion at His appointed time. Remember to be mindful of what He is trying to teach you while you wait - this is all part of the process of learning to rely on Him, and we are even called to find joy in the trying times (James 1:2-4). Trust Him Who is faithful that His plan is the best, and give Him control over your situation so that He can accomplish His awesome plan and will in your life.
Out of this darkness help me see.
You'll be faithful to your promise, let it be;
and then I'll tell the story of what You've done for me."
We woke up this morning (which is a little breezy), and found our decorations looking like this:
What a mess! I put it all back together as best I could, but I'm hoping the next big gust doesn't come and knock it all down again! So far so good....
